The word, euthanasia originates from the Greek word “thanatos”, which means death and the prefix, “eu”, which means good. Euthanasia is a good death, and dogs deserve to die this way.
A good death is one in which a dog ends his life in the presence of his loved ones. He feels no fear, only the gentle hands of his person and a caring vet. He is comfortable, as comfortable as pain medication allows. He smells familiar, comforting smells, like his blanket or favorite treat; the smell of his human, for sure. He is serene because his owner is serene. In a good death, the last thing a dog could hear is his most favorite voice saying, “you are the best dog”, “I love you”, “thank you”, “it’s okay to go now”.
Planned euthanasia has space for joy; the kind of joy your dog feels when you tell him he’s a good boy. As hearing is the last sense to go when a body dies, hearing “good dog” will be the very last moment of the last memory you and your dog will share.
Euthanasia is a Gentle Death
You have done your best to give your dog the care, exercise, food and training he deserves. Now, you will be responsible for your dog’s good death. Obviously, dying free of fear and pain is better for the dog. It is better for the human too. As much as you may dread planning your dog’s euthanasia, your ability to do so means you are not helpless. You will not be unprepared, and you do not need to feel guilty for euthanizing your dog.
Euthanasia is a Responsible Choice
If you have been actively celebrating your dog’s life in preparation for his death, then you already know the joy that these celebrations bring. This combination of celebrating life and the peace that comes from knowing you did the hard thing in the end will help to soothe your soul. You have done right by your dog. You will still grieve, but you will feel at peace about responsibly planning euthanasia, the good death.
We Euthanized Our Dog August 27, 2023
August 27, 2023, at 6:55pm, our golden lab, In Tuxedo’s Honor, graduated from this earth to the place I long to see. We tried to plan for the how, when and where of her death. But in the end, we got 1 out of 3. We succeeded in the how, as Honor did not feel pain when she died. She felt only the arms of her girl and her boy, as we had planned.
The when and the where did not happen as planned. We had wanted Honor to die at home while lying on her bed, and after she had eaten a big ole slice of ham or maybe a chunk of that (nasty) liverwurst Aunt Andrea convinced me to buy for her. Instead, the when turned out to be during a kick-up storm of wind and rain. The where – she was euthanized at the emergency clinic (EC).
This is the story of Honor’s Graduation
Honor very clearly let us know that she was ready to go, so we honored her needs. Letting go is never easy, even when your dog is ready.
I have been sad since her departure. Not 24/7-sad, but sad enough that some days, I only do what I absolutely have to. Sad enough that I have cried each time that I tried to finish this post. Then today, something wonderful happened, and I was reminded again that this month’s newsletter might actually help someone else who’s struggling with their dog’s looming death…
8 Weeks of Celebrating Life
I am relieved to have August behind us. Glad to see it pack up its 100+ degree spree and hit the road with the 50-day drought in tow. BUT, our dog is gone too. Gone is the life we celebrated for two months straight.
For eight weeks, I was not away from that dog’s side for more than four consecutive hours. I planned meetings around her, got up in the middle of the night to sit with her. It was a labor of love. Now that she’s gone, I’m sad, I’m exhausted. And I am only slightly less hot. I also have all those undone chores that I pushed aside in favor of doing stuff with Honor.
But what I do not have is anger. I did not have the urge to bargain for more time because we made every moment count, and I am not in denial. I know that Honor’s life was as good a life as possible. She also experienced the best death possible as euthanasia allowed her to die pain-free. I am sad at times, but I have accepted her time to go in the way that we all must accept death as part of the master plan. When I am sad, I just let myself be sad, but y’all, even I have been surprised by how at peace I am. Blessings packed Honor’s last days.
We made such fun and memories together. We were blessed by our friends and fellow dog-lovers who reached out to celebrate Honor with us. Also blessed when we attended an event the day before Honor died that I can only describe as a perfectly timed gift.
Talking About Death is Gift You May Not Want, But You Need
Our gift came in the form of a panel discussion comprised of a veterinarian, a caregiver, and a rabbi. When I first told Charley I wanted to go to this event and described it this way, he said “this sounds like the beginning of a bad joke”.
Since he’s one to support a good non-profit though, especially one that benefits senior dogs, he agreed to go with me. And we are so glad we went…
Sponsored by Living Grace Canine Ranch
Sometimes, You Get What You Need at Exactly the Right Time
We gained new insights about death by listening to the panel. We were able to confirm some beliefs we already held, and we met folks like us there. Dog-lovers who have dogs in their last stage of life, and we met some whose dogs have recently died. Some folks came over to greet our dog, Scout, before the meeting started. She enjoyed all the attention, but she was most drawn to a woman sitting next to me who had lost her dog, Sophie, just two weeks prior. Scout pawed at the woman’s shin for attention. When she rested her head on her knee, the woman’s eyes swelled. She closed her eyes as she gently ran her hands over Scout’s head. Seeing dog and human connect like two old friends was enough. But not all…
With Great Love Comes Sacrifice, Self-forgiveness and Responsibility
I hope, in my paraphrasing, that I can do justice to the panel’s eloquent messages of love, dignity, sacrifice and self-forgiveness. The panel spoke of hard decisions, guilt and grief brought on by death. They explained that dogs, as concrete thinkers, fully live each moment. Unlike humans, dogs don’t experience guilt or regret of their past. Dogs don’t wonder if they’re good enough or what will happen to them after they die. They simply feel what they feel. Unlike humans they can’t plan. They don’t struggle with making a mistake. Whether you think of your dog as your best friend or your child, you can and should choose a joy-filled moment to be your dog’s last moment. Pet euthanasia is an act of love and also one of responsibility. Your responsibility…
What to Watch for in a Senior Dog
The panel encouraged dog-lovers to assess and guarantee quality of life. As caregiver of senior dogs and founder of the Living Grace Canine Ranch, panel member Rhonda Minardi talked about how important it is for us to remain objective about our dogs as they get sick and old. We know them best. Therefore, we will be the first to pick up signs they may be suffering; signs that could indicate pain or confusion. Are they sleeping all the time? Drinking more or less water? You are right to talk to your veterinarian about your concerns and observations.
Enrichment for your Dog
You can enrich your old dog’s life by paying attention to changes in their movement and behaviors and by getting creative. An arthritic dog, for instance, will eat more comfortably from a raised food bowl. Pain medication will improve her weakened hind legs. For a dog who’s experiencing dementia, adhering to a routine can reassure him. Exercise, supervised time outdoors, even a food puzzle could slow his cognitive decline. These are small things we can do for enrichment.
How Do You Know When its Time to Let Your Dog Go?
People who call At Peace Pet Services often ask me, “how will I know when it’s time?” I answer their question with this question, “what does your dog love to do?” I love hearing dog-lovers talk about their dogs. I love how their face lights from within when they share what makes their dog special. Even over the phone, their voice smiles. Does a belly rub, a car ride or a tasty snack still delight your dog? The frequency of his joy-filled moments will lessen. This is how you’ll know when it’s time.
Panel member Natalie Lord, DVM stressed quality of life over number of days lived. She explained the Veterinarian’s Oath. She swore to promote animal health and welfare, to relieve suffering and also to protect the public’s health. Her mission is not to prolong life for life itself. She provided sound advice for determining when bloodwork, biopsy or other testing is necessary to promote your dog’s comfort. She also spoke with compassion and understanding, sharing her own heartbreak when her two-year old dog had to be euthanized.
Less Than 10% of Dogs Die Peacefully in Their Sleep
This really surprised me: Dr. Lord said that about 2% of her dog patients die peacefully in their sleep. Don’t we all hope that our dog will die peacefully in his sleep? It is a nice thought and a sadly unrealistic one. Natural death is painful for the dog and heartbreaking for the human. Gasping for air is painful. Whimpering in pain is scary. Racing your dog to a 24-hour EC and having him whisked from your arms in order to be treated is not the last memory you want to have with your dog. According to Dr. Lord, this is the way that far too many dogs die. Their people waited too long. It has happened to some of the best dog-lovers I know. And you can avoid this mistake.
Is Euthanasia Acceptable to God?
Panel member, Rabbi Marie Betcher provided spiritual perspective, answering questions like, “is pet euthanasia acceptable to God? (yes), and “will I see my dog again?” (she believes you will).
Rabbi Betcher spoke of how clearly God states that mercy killing a human being is wrong. However, God does not state that mercy killing an animal is wrong. While it is good for believers to study scripture to reach their own conclusions, Rabbi Betcher believes that God is intentional in the broad way in which he has directed us to care for our animals. We know from Genesis 2:19, that God created every animal. Rather than naming them himself though, God had each animal “come to man as their master” to be named.
Names are not randomly assigned, as any parent knows. Naming is a binding act. Parents put great thought into naming their children, often choosing to name after a loved one or a character trait they value. We name dogs in much the same way.
By having man name the animals, God ensured that we (mankind) would have a special connection to them; but as Rabbi Betcher explained, he did more than that. God also granted responsibility of his creatures to us. Being given authority over animals cemented our duty to tend to them, to aid them when possible and to end their suffering when necessary.
Front of memory bag
contains forget-me-not seeds
End on a Good Day; Let Joy be Your Last Shared Memory
The panel unanimously advised to euthanize a beloved dog while she is still having some good days; a day in which she can be happy and comfortable, and you, her beloved human can be at peace with the manner in which she dies. “It is better to euthanize a week too soon than one day too late”, they agreed. Help your animals to pass in a way that honors their lives and, hopefully, allows you to grieve without second-guessing yourself.
The Ethics of Killing and Our Growth as Farmsteaders
Our monthly newsletter is supposed to be about our growth as farmsteaders. Our audience is fellow animal lovers who also dream of returning to the land of livestock and homegrown food. Yet here we are, focused on the topic of death two months in a row. Honestly, dealing with Honor’s diagnosis, determining whether to raise animals for meat, even deciding how to handle predators has been weighing on us, especially during the drought. As our own herd grows, our personal front row seats to death get filled more often. Therefore, spending more time on the ethics of killing animals seems unavoidable. Dogs aren’t the only ones who deserve to die without fear or pain.
We Love to Hear Your Stories of Celebration!
Some lovely folks reached out to us after reading the July Newsletter. Folks who are in the process of letting go of their beloved pets, and who have decided to beat death by celebrating life. You know who you are. We are thrilled to get to celebrate with you! We hope that more of you keep reaching out with your own heartwarming celebrations.
Belief in a Grand Plan
Participating in this panel confirmed what we already felt in our hearts. Little did we know, the very next day we would be the ones driving to the EC…
In Honor’s Graduation, we share the significance of our last car ride with her. Some will say the rain was a coincidence, or that we are just looking for signs of God to make us feel better.
The second group has it right. We sure are looking for God. He shows himself all the time in the minutia of everyday challenge, but if you’re not looking, you’ll likely miss him. We are grateful to him for every day that he entrusted His dog to us. And we are grateful that he was right there with us when she graduated. I am grateful, but I am sad. And I am sure I’m not the only one, so let’s talk about sadness, the kind that turns into despair…
Let’s Talk About Despair
As I move through my season of sadness, I can’t help but think of people who have been struggling with deep long-term despair far too long. Depression – my oldest friend struggles with it. One of my favorite people died from it. And I didn’t even know he was struggling. Let us be brave enough to start conversations with people.
Let’s ask real questions, even if we’re awkward or afraid of being nosey or saying the wrong thing. Let’s vow to:
- Prod gently,
- Listen without judgement, and
- Encourage people to keep talking.
September 10th kicks off National Suicide Prevention Week. Learn how to talk to people who are struggling with depression this September. If you’re struggling, talk to someone who loves you, or a professional, or call a hotline. Just talk. We can all learn more here: https://afsp.org/national-suicide-prevention-week/
Let’s all talk more. Maybe text less; for this week at least. I dare you. I’m ready to listen…
References and Thanks
BIG Thanks to https://www.livinggracecanineranch.org/ and Panel:
- Rabbi-Cantor Marie Betcher, Austin Police Department/Senior Chaplain
- Natalie Lord, DVM, Hope Animal Clinic Medical Director in Marble Falls
- Rhonda Minardi, LGCR Founder and Executive Director
- Yvette Plasencia, LGCR Board of Director Member
These References May Help too –
- 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline
- https://www.rethink.org/advice-and-information/carers-hub/suicidal-thoughts-how-to-support-
- someone/https://pll.harvard.edu/course/managing-happiness